For the past year, I’ve been working with a coach. It’s been an incredible opportunity to strengthen my leadership and management skills. It’s also a lot of work. I tend to over think at the moment because I want to be sure I’m implementing what we’ve been discussing.
Along the way, I also read a book my coach recommended called “The Power of Self-Coaching” by Joseph J. Luciani. I was relieved when most of the quizzes indicated I wasn’t dysfunctional but that self coaching could enhance areas.
My biggest ah-ha moment came when I read this sentence, “A big part of why you struggle is because you’ve become attached to your problems.”
What?! Are you crazy? Do you think I like working long hours?
Taking it a step further, the author wrote, “You can choose to create the life you want by training yourself to be a complete and successful person.”
I took it to heart. So for the month of December, I have consciously been doing a better job of prioritizing and completing the most important item (s) each day and when it’s time to go home if that item is finished, I go home. The other items can wait. I’ve also set my alarm to go off later, thus preventing me from simply going in to work earlier.
I require deadlines when people ask me to do something for them. Without a deadline, I don’t make a commitment and I get bogged down. I also don’t hesitate to say no, especially when someone is trying to schedule another meeting on an otherwise already meeting packed day. If I’m in meetings all day, I don’t have time to do the work that I need to do or I don’t have time for strategic thinking and planning.
I also have scheduled more unscheduled time. Yep, I’ve had a few weekends of total spontaneity. It’s freed my thinking and has allowed me to feel more sane and relaxed. Who knew? The whole time I was trying to control everything, I was only making it worse.
Coaching isn’t for everyone because ultimately it’s the person being coached who has to do the work. And it is work – make no mistake. But the benefits I’m seeing are worth it. I know I’ll have to make some self-corrections as I continue to self-coach, but because I’m seeing the benefits, I’m going to keep doing the work.
Are you ready for some coaching?
I have a life coach, too — State Farm has an awesome coaching network. She’s fantastic. We discuss my goals and any problems that I’m having, and she always helps me work through it. I also attend a coaching clinic twice each year that’s taught by the company. I highly recommend coaching!
As a fellow recovering workaholic, I can relate. The good news is that once these patterns become habits, it isn’t so much work. You get into a maintenance phase where you just have to be careful not to revert back! Great post!