Improvement

Being mindful about unplugging

Turns out unplugging is in the top 5 resolutions for the year. I’m not surprised.

It’s not a resolution for me. What is top of mind for me is being mindful.

Mindfulness is

                “Paying attention in a particular way, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally.”

This is according to Chade Meng-Tan who wrote “Search Inside Yourself.”

I try to be mindful of when I use technology. For example, when I’m at dinner with friends, I put the devices away. I’ll hear the alert if it’s a work emergency. Anyone else will have to wait while I enjoy good conversation and good food.

I'm making an effort to be mindful of when I use devices. (Photo by Cynthia Price)

I’m making an effort to be mindful of when I use devices. (Photo by Cynthia Price)

I’m mindful of not taking photos of the food or drinks, too. I started the habit a few years ago, and then realized I had way too many photos of food and drink. Why exactly do I need to share these with others? I do allow myself the occasional photo (or two).

I struggle with mindfulness when I am watching television, which almost seems like an oxymoron. However, I try not to watch much TV, and when I do, I want to enjoy the show. Too often, I find myself tweeting about the episode I am watching (along with millions of others), checking emails or mindlessly playing a game on my iPad. Before I sit down to watch a show now, I put all devices in another room. This way if the urge strikes to use one, I at least have to get up and move.

As I continue to be more mindful, I have resorted to an app on my phone called Calm. It allows me to choose a sound and “enjoy a session of just sounds for relaxation or solo meditation.” It encourages me to “simply stay open to whatever happens” each time I listen. I can program it for 2 minutes to 60 minutes, and I confess that two minutes is about as long as I am able to be mindful. I’m working on it, though.

I often don’t want to unplug because technology enables me to be more efficient. I do want to be mindful of when and how I use it.

Three Words

Recently I spoke to a career group. Each person in attendance was asked to identify him or herself and then use three words to describe their career and their search. It’s a great exercise because you have to be succinct.

And if you listen carefully, you can also determine whether you stand out in the crowd. Unfortunately, many who spoke that day used words that everyone else uses. Words such as communicator, results driven, deadline oriented can identify lots of people.

Take a moment to think about the three words you would use to describe yourself and your career. Are they original? Do they make you stand out? If not, keep trying.

Now do the same exercise and write down three words that you want to define yourself in the new year. Think about the goals and resolutions you have made. Narrow that list to three words.

Keep those words handy as you navigate the year.  At year’s end, those should be the words you and others would use to describe you.

 

Create a Done List

I have a confession: Sometimes I put things on my To Do list that I’ve already done just so I can cross them out. It makes me feel good.

I was thinking about that on a particularly busy day at work. I decided that what I really need is a “Done List,” a list of everything I have done that day. So I tried it. At first, it was a bit difficult. I’d finish something and move on to the next thing, and I had not added the first thing to my Done List. To be honest, the first day I tried it, it was day’s end before I added anything to the list.

Each day it became a bit easier. I became more mindful of what I needed to accomplish each day. When I added it to the Done List, I gave myself a moment to recognize and acknowledge that I had accomplished something. It felt good.

Of course, sometimes reading the list at day’s end exhausted me. I had no idea how much I did in a day, both at home and at work. It was good to see that even when things remained on my To Do list, I had achieved much on my Done List.

I also discovered that sometimes I did things that I didn’t need to do on that particular day. I became more aware of how I used my time on any given day. I also recognized that the work week is 40 hours long and that I don’t have to do everything in the first eight hours of the week.

So today, instead of making your To Do list, create a Done list. I bet you will feel great about the day!

 

 

How to Manage a Full Plate

Tiffany Ervin knows how to manage a full plate. (Photo by Cynthia Price)

A full plate of food is a blessing but when your life’s plate is too full, it can be a challenge. (Photo by Cynthia Price)

Thanksgiving is a day when our plates are full of food, and that makes us happy. But when our plates are full in our lives, we often become overwhelmed and frustrated.

During a side conversation at a conference I spoke with Tiffany Ervin, whose plate appears to overflow and yet she appears in control. I asked her how she did it.

Her daily agenda helps her prioritize her days. It’s one tool in how she manages her full PLATE. Her PLATE includes:

  • Prioritize
  • Learn how to say, “Let me think about it.”
  • Accept that you can’t do it all.
  • Technology
  • Energize

When you are focused on paying the mortgage and balancing multiple roles, Tiffany said it can be easy to get overwhelmed. She uses a daily agenda (“not a To-Do List,” she says) to help her prioritize. I started doing this and while much of the list remains the same, it feels more strategic and less tactical.

Tiffany and I are alike in that we are both “yes” girls. We’re quick to say “yes,” when what we should say is “Let me think about it and get back to you.” By doing so, we can determine if the request fits our priorities or would stretch us too thin.

Learning to pause before accepting a request also helps us to realize that we really can’t – and shouldn’t – do it all. Many years ago I heard someone speak who suggested making a list of my priorities and referring to it when a request was made of me. If the request would further my goals, then I should consider doing it. If it didn’t, I needed to turn it down no matter how much I might enjoy it. This prevents me from spreading myself too thin and allows me to accept that I can’t do it all.

We both use technology to organize our lives, including smart phones. One thing, though, where Tiffany and I are old school is with our calendars. We both prefer a paper calendar. I find it easier to look at an entire week or month and see where I might be getting too booked. Again, that helps me to say “no” when I need to.

While her daily agenda may be packed, Tiffany recognizes the need to energize. “You need to find what energizes you,” Tiffany says.

For her it’s football and the Rotary.

How do you manage your plate?

Editor’s Note: I suspect Tiffany is watching football with a full plate of food today.

Summer Blues or Summer Success?

August. Where has summer gone?

More importantly, have I made the most of my summer? With only a month left, I’m giving my summer some reflection – poolside, of course.

Did I read the books I wanted to read? For me, summer is a great time to relax by the pool on the weekends with a good book. At last count, I have finished 15, but I have about five more that I would like to finish before the school year starts. I know where I’ll be this weekend! I also am curtailing my television viewing so I have more time to read.

What defines a successful summer? For me, it’s about being outdoors as much as possible and visiting.SAMSUNG

I always enjoy my gardens (vegetable and flowers), and this year, I did a much better job of keeping up with them. During the hottest days I get lazy, and give in to the heat and the weeds, but on any comfortable days, I was planting, weeding or simply sitting in an Adirondack chair in the midst of the garden enjoying the beauty. That is success!

I mentioned reading poolside, and I count the weekends I can do that. The more pool visits, the more relaxed I am. This year was a great year for visiting the pool with friends.

Did I accomplish what I wanted to do? I had the requisite “To Do” list, which this summer focused on decluttering. Three trips to Goodwill and some filled trashcans were proof that I made significant progress in this area. Even better, I didn’t shop and replace the disposed of items.

The truest sense of my successful summer is that I’m ready for the fall season and the resumption of many extracurricular activities. I’ll miss the pool and garden, but I’m already planning my indoor activities.

Was your summer a success? Post your answer in the comments. Thanks!